How do i stop doubting myself

Yet left unchecked, the fear that fuels our doubt can drive us to be over cautious and keep us from taking the very actions that would help us and serve others. I see far too many capable and talented people particularly women selling themselves short because they fear they don't what it takes to succeed.

Doubt sits triumphant. Actions go undone. We don't pick up the phone and make the call. We don't extend the invitation. We don't raise our hand for promotion. We don't say "Enough! We don't push back, say no, say yes, move on, dive in or pick up the pen.

Speaking of which, I remember being consumed by doubt when the idea of writing a book first took hold of my imagination. As much as the idea of putting my ideas into prose inspired me, I felt wholly inadequate for the task not to mention that I had four kids under seven at the time!

Was it the worst greatest piece of literary penmanship the world has ever seen? Of course not. But it's now out in the world in six languages and it never would have been had doubt called the shots. It's my speculation that self-doubt has been a large and understandable factor behind why so many of the women and men who've come forward in recent months to call out perpetrators of sexual harassment and assault - from Harvey Weinstein to Matt Lauer - didn't do so earlier.

They doubted their voice would be heard. They doubted they'd be taken seriously. Some probably even doubted whether they were part to blame. Self-doubt has much to answer for. Yet while none of us are immune to self-doubt with the exception of some serial narcissists that come to mind , we all have the ability to keep it from directing our decisions, continuing our silence and shaping our lives. So how do we banish the doubt? What we do is learn how to reclaim the power it has held over us.

Embracing self-doubt as an intrinsic part of the human experience is crucial to reclaiming the power it has held over you Why bother, after all?

It is an inventive way to shift the blame away from ourselves and onto something outside ourselves. Had you studied, you would have passed. Self-sabotaging emerges from a fear of failure.

It loves procrastination. The impostor syndrome is strongly connected to self-doubt. It describes the unreasonable feeling of being a fraud in disguise, with achievements gotten through luck rather than personal ability or effort. This imposter syndrome often accompanies depression and anxiety and can also be used as a predictor for these emotional challenges. For more on the impostor syndrome, see this video.

While we usually are quite supportive and nurturing of friends in need, we tend to be much harsher with ourselves. Studies show that the lack of self-kindness can predict self-doubt.

Individuals who are kinder to themselves tend to accept, rather than deny, their deficiencies and are better able to encourage themselves to do better. Because those with high self-doubt have a greater need for approval from others, they worry more about failures and negative evaluations and are harsher in their self-judgments.

This leads to a tendency toward isolation. Numerous studies have found a connection between steady self-doubt and psychological problems such as mood swings, lower self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. In fact, many of the symptoms used to diagnose depression correspond with patterns of self-doubt.

When self-doubt causes a loss in motivation or concentration, or feelings of indecisiveness, guilt, shame, or worthlessness, this is when depression can set in. Depression may bring a pessimism about the future, avoidance of responsibility, social isolation, and anxiety or phobias. You can also work on giving yourself credit where credit is due. The accomplishments you have worked for are real.

Sometimes we forget how critical we can be toward ourselves. Good friends can be a very effective personality mirror. They can reflect things back to you that you may have difficulty seeing for yourself.

Isolating yourself can make the downward spiral worse, giving your harmful inner voice more fuel for destruction. As the study reveals, CEOs are three times more confident in their own abilities to grow their businesses than they are of the growth prospects of the global economy. These CEOs didn't let events around them stop them in their tracks.

As one CEO put it, competition is fierce in every industry, but that just means that we have to run faster and harder. Allowing self-doubt to prevent you from grabbing opportunities that come your way is an act of self-sabotage. How can you deal with self-doubt in a constructive way? Self-doubt often makes us rationalize a situation to fit our emotional state. We may be afraid to fail, afraid to look bad, afraid to take on more than we think we can handle. So we become adept at making a lot of excuses for why an opportunity that presents itself isn't a good fit.

What reasons did you give yourself? Where these legitimate reasons or just excuses? Excuses are mental barriers we erect that hold us back. There is a popular saying that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. While there is no scientific study to support this notion, there is a kernel of truth in the statement: Those we habitually spend time with can have a profound effect on us, whether we are aware of it or not.

We know from brain plasticity research that experiences reorganize neural pathways in the brain. According to Dr. John Kounios , professor of psychology and brain science at Drexel University, our neural connections change even after a minute conversation!

Who do you spend the most time with? What effect do they have on you? When you spend time with them, do you walk away feeling better about yourself or worse? Self-awareness is one of the most powerful personal development tools in your arsenal.

Make use of it by understanding the root causes of your self-doubt. What specific situations trigger bouts of self-doubt? If it's a lack of skill in an area, resolve to do something about it.

For example, it may be a fear of delivering presentations. Or it may be anxiety at having to make cold calls. Just about anything can be learned. Go out there and get the training you need, or get a coach to help you. While it's easy to extend compassion to others, very few people are able to temper their self-criticism with self-compassion.

Self-compassion is simply being kind to oneself.